Women leave their real paternal homes when they get married, with the exceptions in a matriarchal society. They leave their siblings, relatives, neighbors and friends behind and start a totally new life in a different and strange place full of unfamiliar people, almost void of emotional links. And she can't freely get to start knowing people all over again like she did while she was a child when no freedom was barred and innocence unlimited because now she is a grown up, mentally an physically. Now, she is supposed to maintain grace, distance herself from men except her husband, and never wander alone away from her house, or locality, at least in the beginning of this 'new' life.
Let's just say, she threw away almost everything she learned, earned and stored since her childhood, till now, that is, till her marriage. She left her siblings who were supposed to be mutually supportive of her as a team. She left her family. The sacrifice is immense. In a society, family is a functional unit, and to be isolated from it is like a wolf isolated from its pack and left in the wild in a strange jungle. That renders her so vulnerable and weak, suddenly non-capable of functioning as she used to be and the minimal idea of what exact role she is to take in the new family.
This very norm of the society keeps the women folks divided and ruled. Their weaknesses do not lie in their physicality, but in this tradition of divided-and-ruled.
But then, you cannot let a stranger man come into your house and let him stay there forever, unguarded and unchecked. Society has seen more of crimes of men than of women. Society doesn't trust men more than women, rather as much as they trust women. So its good strategy of tradition that women must accompany her husband to his home, where she has to live along with many family members of him, at-least until they decide to be independent. And she faces immense pressures, difficulties, abuses, and what not, not due to lack of strength, but due to lack of information, detailed knowledge and information about the new family members, about the locality, about the neighbors, about the variation of culture and traditions of that new place and so on. To gain acceptance to the new locality, into the new family and by the neighbors and so on is now her challenge. To say that its a mighty task, frustrating and time consuming would be undeniably true. To start totally afresh might be a good thing sometimes, but no one can say that its easy and fun. And to start afresh my getting married must not be easy and fun as well.
And while all this fuss after getting married get settled, long time has passed by the time she realizes that she has got kids, and many family troubles creep up. There was so minimal time with her to focus on her own body and mind development, or the social issues of women. And most importantly, they don't trust each other so well because, remember, most possibly, none of them have shared their childhood with each other. Trust is a feeling rarely gained under mysterious and unpredictable circumstances. If not trust, at least, the childhood days paid the price to gain the knowledge of truths of so many people we have been with. And she would have to again pay the same or a different price in learning the new truths of the new people around her. This very condition keeps the women folks isolated, divided, oppressed, backward, and ignorant. And the solution is well...Hope Next Time.
Let's just say, she threw away almost everything she learned, earned and stored since her childhood, till now, that is, till her marriage. She left her siblings who were supposed to be mutually supportive of her as a team. She left her family. The sacrifice is immense. In a society, family is a functional unit, and to be isolated from it is like a wolf isolated from its pack and left in the wild in a strange jungle. That renders her so vulnerable and weak, suddenly non-capable of functioning as she used to be and the minimal idea of what exact role she is to take in the new family.
This very norm of the society keeps the women folks divided and ruled. Their weaknesses do not lie in their physicality, but in this tradition of divided-and-ruled.
But then, you cannot let a stranger man come into your house and let him stay there forever, unguarded and unchecked. Society has seen more of crimes of men than of women. Society doesn't trust men more than women, rather as much as they trust women. So its good strategy of tradition that women must accompany her husband to his home, where she has to live along with many family members of him, at-least until they decide to be independent. And she faces immense pressures, difficulties, abuses, and what not, not due to lack of strength, but due to lack of information, detailed knowledge and information about the new family members, about the locality, about the neighbors, about the variation of culture and traditions of that new place and so on. To gain acceptance to the new locality, into the new family and by the neighbors and so on is now her challenge. To say that its a mighty task, frustrating and time consuming would be undeniably true. To start totally afresh might be a good thing sometimes, but no one can say that its easy and fun. And to start afresh my getting married must not be easy and fun as well.
And while all this fuss after getting married get settled, long time has passed by the time she realizes that she has got kids, and many family troubles creep up. There was so minimal time with her to focus on her own body and mind development, or the social issues of women. And most importantly, they don't trust each other so well because, remember, most possibly, none of them have shared their childhood with each other. Trust is a feeling rarely gained under mysterious and unpredictable circumstances. If not trust, at least, the childhood days paid the price to gain the knowledge of truths of so many people we have been with. And she would have to again pay the same or a different price in learning the new truths of the new people around her. This very condition keeps the women folks isolated, divided, oppressed, backward, and ignorant. And the solution is well...Hope Next Time.
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